Allow Yourself The Time and Grace Needed For Your Journey

One of the easiest and most natural things there is to do is compare. Compare the money we make, compare our successes, compare our failures, compare our number of followers or views, compare our looks, and whatever else we can measure on an uneven playing field. And social media (as much as I love it) makes it way too easy to see the award-worthy moments aka the Highlight Reel, and we easily associate that with being the everyday reality of people’s lives. It’s not, and it never is, the way anyone celebrity or regular person alike actually lives 24-7.

Let's take your favorite celebrities for example. When we see stars like Yara Shahidi or Zendaya scoring lead roles in a TV show or earn an award it can be easy to think what in the world was I doing at that age? or am I totally washed because I’m not hitting it big by the time I’m 30? While we’re busy thinking we’re failing because the focus on age is so prevalent to success, we forget to understand whether the type of projects we take on, the career path we’re on, or the person we’re becoming has anything to do with someone’s else’s level up. While every move younger kids make is thrust into the spotlight thus making us feel inadequate, looking at the brilliant Kerry Washington, Viola Davis, Mahershala Ali, or even Bianca Lawson, can provide perspective about the “silent hustle” and how more often than not many incredibly talented people often don’t receive their recognition early.

Look At Your Process As a Fine Wine  

Cheese. Wine. Kombucha. Two of the three I can actually consume easily, and all three have their proper aging process. When things grow they have a predetermined time-frame in which they’re meant to fully produce the correct nutrients to develop their best taste or structure. Wine is at its best when it’s aged – and that’s how we have to look at our journey because it’s not a sprint, it’s a long and sometimes excruciatingly slow marathon. So much like wine, you don’t want to start rushing the fermenting process of your life, because if you do you’ll end up with a bitter and unbalanced taste which benefits no one. Take pleasure in the beautiful development of your aging process because in the end it will be incredibly strong and sweet.

Support and Cheer For Others Fervently

One of my favorite things to do is to boost up those that I love. It doesn’t matter if it’s a specific event or achievement or just because I’m proud of the person that someone is becoming, I’m your personal hype woman always and in all ways. Honestly, I don’t even have to know you at all and I’m still here for your growth. When you truly celebrate the progression and ascension of others it opens up a mindset of gratitude and places you in the neighborhood to receive abundance right along with them. There’s something about sharing the achievements of others as if they were your own that just feels . . . right. Always do this while you're simultaneously climbing your own ladder to success. 

Write + Record Every Moment For Your Future Self

Did you have a journal from your first high school heartbreak? Well then if you’ve ever looked back on it you probably realize how dramatic you were but you also recognize how much you’ve (hopefully) changed and grown. I hate to say it, and it’s even harder to see it, but growth develops best from obstacles and turmoil. If you’re going through heartbreak or you’re wondering how you’re going to pay your car note this month, you’re probably not going to be able to say, “alright, I know I may default on my student loans buuutttt I’m not mad because I know that six months down the line my work is going to be published in XYZ publication or I’ll land a contract and get paid.” Nah girl. To be automatically accepting of your struggle in the thick of it is not the norm. In the moment, your perspective is likely clouded with anger, confusion, resentment and irritation. You can’t see the lesson or reason but what you can and should do is write down every event that is happening. Break down in detail every moment of intense joy and blinding rage. Be descriptive about how what is happening to you is impacting your emotions, productivity and mental health. You’ll be grateful to look back and see how you moved through the pain and now you can gracefully reflect back in order to move forward.

Reflect on Difficult Moments With Appreciation

We won’t lie to each other. This one is really, really hard and it’s especially hard if you’ve experienced personal hurt along the way. I don’t know anyone who is going to look at their current hardships with admiration while they sit in . . . like . . . literal depression. It’s almost impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel and whatnot, but just take a moment in the midst of your tears and think about what you get to look forward to that is for you. That man who never became your boyfriend and chose someone else? He wasn’t meant for you. That big project you worked hard as hell for but never saw come to fruition? Throw that bad boy in your portfolio and keep it moving. That job you went through three rounds of interviews for but turned you down? Your dream job is around the corner. If you can find a way to grasp onto the small amount of light in the darkness then you’re already halfway to where you need to be.

Your Mistakes Are Inevitable But They Don’t Have To Be Crippling

Pssst. Hey fellow human: you’re going to make A LOT of mistakes. Some people expect you to be perfect but your superpower is that you’re far from it. You’re relatable because you’re an awkward hot mess sometimes just like the rest of us. So maybe you were late on a project or didn’t put your all into it. Or maybe you said something dumb out of ignorance. Or perhaps you got distracted and forgot to do something relatively important. Guess what one of the best things in the world is? It’s this little thing called the process of learning, adjusting and improving. The gag is that walking around as if you’re immune to mistakes only helps you make them quicker, and not in a good way. When you’re unaware of how you’re acting it’s pretty easy to slip up because you’re failing to pay attention, but if you embrace the fact that you’re going to make mistakes, you’ll have them, forgive yourself and bounce back faster.

Despite the mistakes you’re going to make or the wins you’re going to have, the best part of this life is being able to take charge of your own process and realize that you are very much still a delicate work in progress. Give yourself a little grace. 

Xoxo

Sincerely, Ang

8 Epic SXSW Sessions I Experienced That Will Make You Want To Reach For More

QuirkCon SXSW Pop-up hosted by Quirktastic Media

This event launched the madness that was SXSW on a weekday and the conversation was so good that I couldn’t dip out earlier than absolutely necessary. Bryanda (Creator of Quirktastic Media) moderated three different panels of content creators about their hustle and what pushes them to continuously create. Everyone had words of wisdom for us, but the panel of YouTube/media creators consisting of Evelyn Ngugi, Ngozi Kim and Momo Pixels resonated with me the most. When Evelyn said, “I create what feels good to me and what makes me laugh because at the end of the day this could all go away,” I felt that. We have to create what our audience wants, but it has to come from a place of what we love and want to make, too. 

Kamau W. Bell in Conversation With April Reign and Luvvie Ajayi

Naturally, April and Luvvie headed straight into the most important topic of discussion, aka Black Panther, and the massive success of it. They then proceeded to talk about the unfair and often unrealistic expectations of movies, TV shows, and books by POC, as well as the Netflix + Monique controversy and the pay disparities for WOC, and they also tackled #BlackLivesMatter and the Parkland school shooting. Luvvie even tapped into the importance of mental health and not depleting yourself by being reactive to the constant overwhelm of news. I was able to watch two influential women speak on stage at SXSW for simply being themselves, something we're all capable of doing. April recognized the lack of acknowledgment (and awards) for films by POC and started the #OscarsSoWhite hashtag movement, and Luvvie has used her comedic voice to elicit inspiration and emotion for her readers through her blog and book titled I’m Judging You.

The Chi Panel – Moderated by Jim Halterman with Lena Waithe, Jason Mitchell, Common and Jacob Latimore

First things first: Lena Waithe is the very definition of a boss and she further proves that in her Vanity Fair interview. I knew she was a visionary before I sat in the same room as her, but being able to sit in on this panel to soak up just a little bit of her creative magic and how intentional she is with her storytelling process was priceless. To start off the panel, one clip from the Chi was played of each character and afterwards Lena broke down why she wrote the character, and scene, that particular way. One of the deepest connections she made was in reference to Coogie running through the streets in episode 1, how that represents Black people running through the Underground Railroad, and how we haven't stopped running since. *Whew. My SOUL THO.* Lena saw a lack of true and authentic representation for the culture of Chicago, so through storytelling and colorful nuances she set the tone for her home, for the culture and for anyone who follows suit to dispel myths that surround their way of life. 

#OscarsSoWhite: What’s next for hollywood? A Conversation With April Reign, Robin Theade and Matthew Cherry

Since I heard April Reign speak earlier with Luvvie Ajayi and Kamau W. Bell, I already knew the power she brought to conversation, so to know that she was teaming up with producer Matthew Cherry (9 Rides, Hair Love) and BET’s Robin Theade for a chat? Giiiiirl I was beside myself. Robin Theade brought the funny and the tea as we talked about everything from the Netflix + Monique controversy (yes, again) to her journey writing for a plethora of famous comedians’ and her struggle to break into the spotlight herself, to Matthew Cherry’s modest transition from former NFL player to Producer. Being in such a small, intimate setting where I could be within feet from these creators, talk to them, and feel encouraged by their stories felt surreal. These are the creators who simply chose to take their vision, their talents, and their love of art and activism to execute so the rest of us can watch, be uplifted and encouraged by their journeys. We got next. 

On Doing Better: Evelyn Ngugi in conversation w/ Luvvie Ajayi

When two hilariously-honest women dive into unrestricted candor you know it’s about to be good. Luvvie started the conversation with a brief overview of her career and how the success of her blog has been a long-time coming but the lack of expectation on her early on helped her to find her voice. Luvvie then jumped into calling us all out for our lack of ability to be able to tell the truth anymore because we're so used to silencing ourselves to make people comfortable. When Evelyn asked Luvvie why she uses humor to tell the truth she said, "because humor is an equalizer. If I can get you to laugh then you're more likely to listen." And when it came to not changing her voice once her audience grew she said "you don't have to go looking hard for your voice. I write in the way that I think and I trust my own voice because all I can trust is that." Luvvie is willing to walk into comfortable spaces and shake them up unapologetically with the truth, because it's necessary. 

GameChangers: Dell x Create & Cultivate – Women At The Intersection of Fashion x Technology

When Create & Cultivate teamed up with Dell for a brunch and panel during SXSW, the result was a conversation about the modern way consumers are using technology to meet their needs. From the influence that tech has on how fashion is created and distributed to the way that media companies like Blavity and Create & Cultivate have to pull, produce and post content as fast as possible, it was made clear that the fluidity of the user experience has to be prioritized. The panel was moderated by Create & Cultivate founder Jaclyn Johnson and highlighted the fact that, according to Morgan DeBaun, CEO of Blavity, Inc., when it comes to content for her online audience, “they appreciate that done it better than perfect. They want it now.” And when asked what would you tell your younger self about starting your business? The panelists uniformly agreed, “I would tell myself to stop sitting on it, stop stalling and just do it, you HAVE to make a move and go for it.” *noted*

Building a Badass Business Against All Odds

This was what I thought would be my last SXSW panel to end a whirlwind week, and it did not disappoint. Four badass entrepreneurs, Danielle Leslie, Tara Reed, Thomas K R Stovall and Aniyia Williams, talked about how they started their successful businesses and the most important aspects of them – from knowing who your audience is, to researching + utilizing your connections in order to get funding and support, to not undervaluing or underselling yourself. What I loved about this group was how they highlighted the failure of their previous businesses, how it happened, and what they did differently to succeed this time around. Once again I was shown that four ordinary people took an idea, even one that didn’t work the first or the first few times around, and remained persistent and dedicated to their mission to succeed. And succeed they have. 

Create & Innovate With Jason Mayden

This was the only session I went to that wasn’t downtown near everything else and I have to say it was a nice break from the large crowds and non-existent parking. This session also happened to be one of the best I heard during my 10 days of SXSW. Jason is a former shoe designer for Nike and has worked with Steph Curry, LeBron James, and countless others, and now he runs his own business to encourage all kids to know they are unstoppable + empowered. His assuredness reigned supreme when he talked about his life and the mission of SuperHeroic and how imperative it is that we focus on “empowering our kids instead of fixing broken adults because that is where we effect change." And even when we feel confused or lost in the shuffle of our mundane lives, Jason's motto is that no job is too small and to get everything you can out of every position. Without a doubt this was the perfect way to close out SXSW.

Did you attend SXSW? What were some of your favorite panels or events? Let me know in the comments! 

Xoxo

Sincerely, Ang